


You're the Music of My Heart

by readmarcoread



Category: Nodame Cantabile, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Orchestra, Austria, Canon Gay Relationship, Christmas, Classical Music, F/M, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-03 18:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8725939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readmarcoread/pseuds/readmarcoread
Summary: Jean Kirschtein is a hot-headed, arrogant 22 year-old college student taking his final year at Cambridge University. Jean is just the typical jackass senior that could care less about grades, and is only interested in hitting up the ladies, er, I mean in his case, the men. Marco Bodt is a shy and quiet yet talented young man who is also ending at Cambridge; he plays the 1st violin and the piano in the Cambridge Symphony, one of the most competitive orchestras in the nation. After the two have a fateful encounter on what seemed to be a typical fall morning, the two men realize that even the smallest baby steps you make all add up in the end when it comes to discovering themselves and the love they deserve.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Picturesque

I walk into the coffee shop away from the frigid fall winds, embraced by the autumn incenses of pumpkin and cinnamon and the bitter whiffs of black coffee. The quaint and charming room wasn't too big and just the perfect place to relax and sit by the crackling and warming hearth. But after having Eren invite all of his friends into the dorm, I decided to just get out. But despite the fact of me staying here at the Cambridge University of the Visual and Performing Arts for several months, I simply resorted to watching Netflix and drawing in my dorm instead of socializing and attending our football games or other big events.

I trekked over to the chestnut-colored teak counter methodically and looked up at the guy behind it, my jaw going limp and slightly ajar. His soft, smooth, mocha hair trimmed at the sides of his bangs poofed out a bit, and to be honest, it was pretty adorable. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not even close to being straight like a circle. But I wasn't overt about it completely; some of my closest friends knew about it. His deep, gingerbread eyes fluttered like a butterfly as he kindly greeted me. But I was too entranced in his freckles to even notice... oh god, his freckles. There were so many scattered on his rosy cheeks that I could draw constellations out of them. And his cheeks bounced with his dimples... man they were so cute. The man with a small tag with "Marco" on it gave a friendly wave, trying to grasp my attention.

"Sir, are you alright?" Fortunately I was able to snap out of it and respond to his question. "Oh! Uh.. yeah. I'm fine," is all I can muster. Damn. I'm being such a dumbass. He looks at me with a radiant smile. "So.. what can I get you today?"

Shit. I forgot to look at the menu ideas. I didn't want to look humiliatingly dumb in front of him. "Well... got any preferences?" Internally, I felt like sweat-dropping and punching myself in the face. He laughs innocently. "To be honest, I just prefer a hot chocolate or a pumpkin spice frappe, but that's just because it's fall and who doesn't love fall?" I nod. "Okay. How bout I get just a hot chocolate then?" I hadn't been here before and 'Marco' was genuinely cute so maybe he's got good taste.

"Sure! I'll get it for you in just a second~" "Thanks." He beams back at me and I could feel my cheeks flush with a hot tingle. Weird. "Oh and what's your name?" "It's Jean..." He grins. "I like your name... it's charming." Oh man, here we go again.

"So... do you live around here?" Oh my God, Jean you are so stupid. He laughs again, dammit. "Yeah, I go to Cambridge here." No kidding he went to Cambridge. "Do you go to Cambridge or are you just from here?" He asks me kindly. I swear, I was going to blow up because he was so adorable. "Yeah, I go to Cambridge too but I major in sculpting, painting, that sort of thing. And I take theater classes there too." He looks up at me, his pumpkin eyes glinting a sign of curiosity. "Really? That seems pretty cool! Some of my friends take it, do you know Armin Arlert by chance?" 

I grin. "Yeah, he's one of my really close friends. And he's in my theater class, actually." He scratches his chin. "Hm... small world. But I'm in the orchestra program." Now that's pretty cool. "My friends Bertholdt Hoover, Mikasa Ackerman, Reiner Braun, and Annie Leonhardt and in there too." His head snaps up. "Wow! Really? I didn't know you were friends with them! I'm always with Annie and Reiner and Bert since we're in the same class anyways." I nod again. "Yeah. Reiner plays the saxophone, Bert plays the clarinet, and Annie and Mikasa play the violin." "I sometimes play the violin in orchestra but I almost always play the piano during them." Damn. He must be insane if he can juggle violin AND piano.

"Oh, here's your hot chocolate by the way," he says kindly, his dimples bouncing. Adorable. "...Thanks!" I reply back and he beams again. "No problem, and by the way, your total is $4.23." I manage to pluck a five from my wallet and it slips out of my hand. Dammit, how are you so dumb to drop a bill? God, have mercy on me.

He laughs with a hint of naive. "Don't worry about it." He fiddles out a gambit of quarters and pennies and hands them to me in the palm of my hand alongside a small receipt. "Your total change is $0.77." "Thanks~" "Anytime." I turn around the drink and just before I can take a sip from it, my eyes catch light, fancy handwriting on it: Jean :). I blush.

Was this guy checking me out or was he just over excessively-friendly. I hope it was the first one but I couldn't even tell.

"Well, maybe I'll see you around Jean?" He queries me. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we will. And besides, we have some of the same friends. Maybe we can meet some other times through them." Wow, that sounds like I'm suggesting him for us to go on a date. Jean, you're so pathetic. "That sounds great!" I beam after his response. "Well, have a nice day, Jean." "Thanks. You too~" I wave him a friendly grin before walking to an empty crimson velvet love-seat beside the fireplace. The faint crackling of the fire and the warm, inviting, ambient atmosphere of the coffee shop was overwhelmingly cozy. I could just fall asleep holding my hot chocolate.

But just before I can lull myself to relax, I hear loud fidgeting come from the other side of the coffee shop. Marco.

"Shoot! I'm gonna be late for the orchestra practice! Sasha! Can you cover for me?" his voice sounds guilty and rash. A small head from behind the kitchen appears, her long, straight, light brunette done in a ponytail stuck to her forehead. A buttery croissant is clamped in her mouth and she takes a large bite of it voraciously, almost like she inhaled it in one mouthful. "Fine, but I get to take a few of your doughnuts and a muffin!" the slightly petite girl responds. "Okay, fine! But at least talk to Ms. Brzenska about it if she asks where I am, okay? She should know though!" He pulls up the sleeves of his gray cardigan sweater and grabs his beige canvas messenger bag and runs to the door. "Thanks, Sasha! You're the best!" Hey! Sasha worked here? How the hell did I not know that?!?! No wonder I never went outside the house...

Marco left the cafe and I decided since he wasn't around anymore that I had no interest in staying. And I did want to talk with Sasha but I just decided to go back to the dorm where Jaeger and Armin and Mikasa were, probably watching some depressingly sappy movie like Titanic or something. So I stood up and pushed my wallet back into my pocket and retreived my car keys from the other pocket of my jeans and strolled back out of the coffee shop. I should definitely come back her again, and maybe even talk with Marco again.~

-Okay so some of you might've caught the reference with TITANIC and i just thought of a sad movie and it had the same name as the anime so I HAD too! XD but expect more fluff might come in again and maybe one of them are able to see first hand the other one's skills of either drawing or orchestra... you'll have to guess and it'll be either in one of the next two chapters. I'll try to stay updated!!

~Stay classy, Andrew


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Late

I rush down Warner Hall and swivel to the left, man, Mr. Smith has already let me off the hook too much. I mean, he knows I have work before that was my commitment and my decision and I'm held accountable for being late. Maybe sticking at the café might have to be a sacrifice to stay in the orchestra program. I've been playing the piano for over 16 years and the violin for over 12 so there is high competition at school.

But that boy, from earlier today. Damn he seemed like a nice kid. Kind of a more reserved guy, but Jean... intrigued me. I really wanted to know more about him. Well at least Ymir has art with them. I'm almost 100% sure she can talk to him for me. I felt like like I had known this kid for so long, even though in reality he had managed to become close friends in the matter of a few minutes. Besides, he had really cute two-tones hair, it frizzled up at the tops and his bangs were rushly combed over, leaving a slight residue of water over them, like it was last minute and e just got up. Adorable.

I try speeding up a bit, trying to edge that ticking clock. But that all slaps me in the face like a harsh chord of As and Cs as the small, hindering wheels of my violin case stop on the polished floor, causing me to trip and fall. No! I can see the door ahead. This has to be a joke, ugh, I can't be late. Sweat starts to trickle down my forehead onto my clammy hands and I gasp, embracing my outspread arms to the floor. My hands swiftly lick the tips the tile and the knees beneath my umber slacks slide as well. There probably was a big hole in them now. Oh, man.

I pick up the light parchment paper music sheets and stuff them in my once -so-organized case and try to barrel myself inside on time. I grab the handle of the violin case with clamoring hands and I make a mad dash to the class and opening the door like a swinging door in the Wild West by a drunk cowboy. The soothing fanfare of blaring trumpets and violins come to an immediate halt as they all look at me with an intrigued look on there faces. I look at the clock above the perch of the wall, 12:59. I sigh in relief. I made it.

"Ahem, Mr. Bodt," a daunting voice emerges from the wisps of the velvet cinnamon curtain and I crane my head around towards it. A tall, bulky man with a giraffe neck and blonde hair trimmed and tidied to elegant profession. His glass blue-flame eyes flickered with a sinister tremble like a bass A note player by a violist. "You seem to be..." He looks at the time above the large oak stage. "... on time." I nervously manage a disastrous smile at him and I scratch me chin, yet again.

"Sorry Mr. Smith." He sighs in exasperation and shrugs his shoulders. "You're our school's hopes and dreams, Marco. You are our best musician, the best we've ever seen. You're an honors student, and I expect more from you."

His unfathomably deep statement sends chills down my spine and my heart sinks into my stomach. I had disappointed him.

"Mr. Smith..." I mutter, just then my voice is cut off by his. "Talk to me after class." Before I can respond, my voice is engulfed by the continuum of the fanfare.

I have no decision but to sit in my seat and pull out my violin, pinking up its horse string bow. We easily pull through Mozart's Sonata in A K545 and after several attempts, we seem to have the melody perfectly embedded in our head, ready for tonight's concert.~

I pack up my violin case and just before I can lift it onto my shoulders, a hand lays on it. I wince and turn around.

"Mr. Smith..." I look up at him. He sighs. "Look, I understand how hard you've been working so far and you really inspire me. And that is a give fact. I'm just concerned that juggling both a nearly full time job and orchestra is going to be too hard. You're the best student this school as seen, we need talent like you. We're going to the world championships because of you. We can't let you fall apart because your job is too overwhelming." His hand kindly pats my shoulder again. "I think it's time to consider your job. If anything, make it a part time, but if you succumb to coffee shop stress, then we're screwed for Vienna. This is the first time we're able to represent, and we usually haven't made it so far." He looks away and I immediately pick up on his drift.

He needs me. Our entire school needs me. "Okay," I finally respond to him and he looks up with a slight glare of approval. "Like I said, I'm to trying to rub salt in your wound, I know you like your job, but being in orchestra yet alone play two instruments requires a lot of physical demand. You have to learn the double the music in double the time with double the stress-"

"Hey. I know what you mean." Heck, I dreamed of Vienna and me sitting on the plush velvet cushion of the piano seat, performing in front of thousands of people... I wanted that so bad.

He stops, interested my oh-so-vague statement. I sigh immediately and I almost feel calm and relieved. "I know that the shop is just supposed to help me get some bearings down at Cambridge and for my rooming and orchestra. I told myself that it was only to aid. Coffee shops are temporary and orchestra is permanent to me. Besides, I need to quit so I can stay better on top of my work." He smiles, as if my decision to him was as clear as day.

"Like I said, I'm not forcing you too. I'm just concerned for your... well-being in this class. I understand how seriously you take orchestra. I'm just worried that you're going have to sacrifice it for other classes and side events. And I think it will make things a lot easier with school work and your life. World's is in a matter of weeks and we need our musicians o be on their A-game." I grin, almost on cue. "Yes, Mr. Smith." He makes a slight smile and holds out his hand politely and I shake it. "Thank you Mr. Bodt... I was concerned you'd take it the wrong way. But I appreciate your cooperation in all of this." I grin like Alice in Wonderlands's Cheshire Cat. "Oh, no problem." I turn away momentarily to grab my violin case and place the bow modestly in its proper fitting inside.

"Well, I must better be going. I've got some practicing for World's to do." He beams and I almost laugh. He was a serious guy so getting him to grin was a miracle. *see he's freckled Jesus!!!!! he makes everyone happy ~Andrew

"Go start that, I expect no mistakes during your performance tomorrow evening." "Okay, Mr. Smith, okay." And with my wheeling violin case clicking at my heels, I stride out of the classroom, a new tidal wave of relief and rejuvenation slammed into my body like a riptide. I was going to find out more about Jean, and I was desperate to know more, but probably after I practice some piano first.

~okay guys!! Sorry about the delay! I have had a lot of homework so far and so many exams so I had to get that done. If you liked it, tell any friends interested in Jeanmarco and like the story and comment! :) and don't worry, Jean will be a klutz and embarrass the living crap out of Marco soon so hold on to your seat!!  
~Stay classy, Andrew


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Arpeggios

(Songs Played: -Rondo a Capriccio "Rage Over a Lost Penny" and Moonlight Sonata Pathètique by Beethoven)

*might turn out to be a shorter chapter just saying~  
I walk down the dormitory halls of the Gershwin Building (all of the last names are actual composers) and I began to sift my hand through the denim blue pockets of my Levi's jeans. (Reference eh?? XD okay sorry...)  
The strange thing was though was that I couldn't find my room key, it could've been at the coffee shop? No, because I would have it on my car key fob and I would need it to start the car. The car maybe? No, I took it out of the engine lock and it would've turned off the roaring engine of my 2014 Lincoln MKZ so it had to be in my pocket! I continue to sweep my hand inside but then... it was the keys of a piano.

They were... smooth. The beautiful and amazing sound echoed down the cerulean walls of the dorm and I'm lost in the sound; it could've came from anywhere. I had to figure out where this was coming from. There were rectangular Windows on the side of each door and I decided to peer through them briefly if I could find the source of the piano. But the music... it was, stunning. I could tell the musician's hands were literally sweeping the 88 sharp, flat, and standard keys, but not just in any modest fashion, but in a manner that you could immediately tell the artist has had immense years of back-breaking practice and decades of disciplinary training. It had to be a professor. But the sound, why would it be in the dorms? Was it a student...?

The constant arpeggios of the piece flickered a switch in my brain like a light, it was Rage Over a Penny. The music was incredulously fast, I was immediately touched by the intensity of it. I'd be damned if I couldn't figure out who was playing it. It was a driving force that kept dragging me towards the grand piano, as you got slingshotted toward it.

I started running the halls, trying to pick up any notice of a louder volume of Beethoven's prominent hit. No sign, but not just yet. Where the hell was it coming from?? I sprinted down the stairs recklessly, almost tripping on every other lip of each step. I looked towards the next floor hall. Was it outside? The roof? Communal room? Studio room? No, those were only open for group meetings. It HAD to be a dorm. So it was a student. But who? Come on, Jean, think. Focus. 

Finally. I manage to pick up a loud, staccato chord note bouncing off the walls down the hall. With no further hesitation, I started to run faster than my stubby legs could take me. It was a race against time. A rage. Like a Rage over a Penny. The penny was the piano, the soft and crescendoing notes being pressed by elegant and refined fingers, edge to pure perfection over years of practice and performances.

And I come to an immediate stop to a room. I found it, I found the dormitory room. My hands were begging to rip open the door off the secure metal hinges. With the last shred of sanity settled in my brain, I yelled at myself not to. I tilt my head and try to look past the small foyer in the room. A large grand piano sits in the corner of the main room. This was it, I though to myself. My breathing started to accelerate and my pulse started to tremor like tsunamis pounding at the seashore at breakneck speeds.

But who was if? Damn it if I could see them. Screw it. Maybe the door was slightly open? But if I open it, I'll be breaking dorm violations. Whatever, I'd rather know who it was then have to get yelled at by our dorm prefect. But that was a fatal mistake. Just as the pianist began to sweep the notes with trills, my slightly slow-reflexed body pushed too hard on the door. And with a whizzing crash, the door flew open and my chest collided with the carpeting in their dorm. Shit.

The piano keys cluttered with a harsh slam and a loud gasp emerged from their lips. "What the... why are you in my room?!?!" It was a male's voice. Maybe it was Marco? And I realized it.

His trembling hands clung tight around his slightly bulky torso shyly and his soft, glazed honey eyes stared into me, as if he was examining my soul or proposing my cause of death if I was in an autopsy. His freckles jumped around his pudgy baby-face cheeks like little polka-dot spots and his dimples wrapped around the sides of his smooth, thick lips. It was Marco, and dammit did I have it too hard for this guy.

"Oh...! I uh... I heard piano music at my dorm room and I really... REALLY wanted to know that was. I'm... sorry?" Is all I could foolishly say. He sighs with a slight alto-pitched voice. "It's fine, I'm just practicing for a concert tomorrow evening at the Carnegie Hall *made random shit up ." That's right, wasn't he like the best pianist at Cambridge like... ever? Oh my god, Jean pay attention to him. You like him. That's like the first rule of romance. You flirt like you're a kindergartner, Dammit Jean.

"Not that I have a... uh... problem you hearing me play, but I just wished you warned me instead of scaring the living day lights out of me-" he responds and I profusely hold up my hands and my eyes begin to scan the dorm's surroundings. There's two beds and both are perfectly made, navy blue and gold Cambridge-colored chintz and wool pillows fluffed and placed behind red and purple bed pillows, and I think the difference between them is quite significant. The bed with the red pillow had art pastels had large canvas sketchbooks neatly placed on an oak dresser. A leather messenger bag lay in front of the dresser and the walls were placed with sleek frames filled with photographs of a small boy with long blonde hair and two others, a boy with striking green eyes and brunette messy hair and a tall, Asian girl with a whispering black eyes, flowing black hair similar to length of the blonde boy's hair but a tad longer and a large red infinity scarf. I could pinpoint those two from anywhere: Eren and Mikasa. Almost always conjoined at the hip, the two were inseparable. So it was also pretty assumable that the blonde boy was Armin. Who knew Armin and Marco bunked? And the other side was quite similar but with different styles. The bed with the purple pillow had a black piano with notes sewn into it and an opened violin case lay directly on the center of the double-sized bed. A black quilt with music signs were embroidered in the fine silk as well and European theaters and classical composer poster littered the walls and a canvas bag lay beside the bed. That was obviously Marco's side of the room.

"Well, your dorm is quite nice," I state candidly. "Me and Eren's room is full is so much crap-" He heartedly chuckles. "Wow, can't believe you have to room with him! Poor you!" I give him a jokingly cruel look as he grins. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what his impressions are of me, but I swear, they better be good!

~Okay so did another update!! Enjoying role playing JeanMarco with my Jean, @wolfheart1256 and it's pretty good! Tell me if you like it or not, because I'm enjoying posting these. Any preferences or ideas?? Keep reading!

~Stay classy, Andrew


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Subs, Spills, and Sappy Movies (part 1)

"Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning even when I lose I'm winning." ~John Legend *how ironic to choose that song of all options XD

I slumped in the piano seat as soon as Jean walked out of my dorm, almost as if a 100-pound weight was lifted off of my aching shoulders. That kid meant a log to me, despite the fact we had met at a coffee shop only a small amount of time ago. God, a coffee shop. So cliche. It was cute but still, the sappiness of an oh-so-romantic coffee shop meet-up is totally typical.

I needed to practice to have all of the sheet music mastered perfectly, but on the contrary, I had to take a break and find something to do. Some of my friends were busy right now, guarantee, with classes but a few were off. My stomach began to growl like a slight hungry under-the-bed or inside-the-closet monster waiting to pounce at you like the prey of a small child, nightmares manifested in their head so strong it was almost tangible. I tug at the pocket of my beige Cardigan sweater and pull out my phone and check for notifications: nothing; not much of a surprise though. I decided to hopefully break that. I press my home button and tap on my messaging app and click Armin, Reiner's, Bert'l's, and Annie's group chat.

Marco: hey are you guys free?

There was a slight pause before the 'typing' sign glowed at the bottom of the screen and a response popped up.

Armin: Just got out of classes but now I'm good. you got plans?

Marco: just wanting to know if anyone wanted to go to Trost Sandwiches to get some early dinner. besides just wanting to hang out with you guys for a bit

Armin: yeah! that sounds like a good idea. I should be back in like 10 minutes so just wait.

Bert'l: stuck in orchestra class still so can't go sorry~

Marco: ah that's fine hbu Reiner? Annie?

Reiner: can't go either u dumb ass I'm with bert'l but bring me a BMT with italian bread? and a bag of baked lays, thanks

Annie: yeah, I'll be right up to your dorm in like 5 minutes

Bert'l: like i said sorry, when we get back we can have like a movie night or something?

Reiner: dude totally up with that idea cuz I get to cuddle with my honey~

Bert'l: aww love ya too

Annie: omfg you two lovebirds are literally probably sitting next to each other now get out of orchestra class and find a room

Reiner: i think that sounds like an interesting suggestion and you honestly have no experience anyways;)

Annie: if you don't shut up I'm going to beat the living shit out of you as soon as i see you later got that?

Bert'l: heh heh heh don't do that cuz my nubby will get hurt

Armin: anyways... so me and Annie will meet up with you in 10 minutes max your dorm?

Marco: yeah that sounds like a good idea.

Annie: k see ya

Armin: bye

Marco: see ya!

I grin like a fool and turn off my phone, shoving it back into my pocket. This is why they're my best friends~ I think. I grab my red beanie from the counter next to my bed and change my clothes into a pair of burgundy denim jeans, a gray pair of Winston Vans, and a cardamon-orange scarf. Comfortable and pleased with my new outfit, I grab my wallet and car keys and sit on the edge of my bed. In the nick of time, a faint knock comes from the door and a small blonde-hair girl steps into the small foyer. Her hair is put into a messy ponytail, the sides of her bangs cresting over the tips of her ears and her stormy, azure (eh Avija??) eyes throw permanent and infinite daggers into my soul.

"Hey Annie!" I kindly greet her and she responds with a small smile and a head nod. "We taking your car, my car, or Armin's?" she asks nonchalantly. "Probably mine because Armin isn't hear and this was all my plan. Or unless you wanna take the subway downtown." She blows the bangs out of her face and shrugs plainly. "I honestly don't really care what we go on. But subways are claustrophobic." I sigh, usual Annie she was. "Alright, that's fine. Just throwing out any ideas-"

The door of the dorm swiftly opens and Armin jumps through. "Sorry it took so long! Ms. Ral had me help after class for a few minutes." He grabs his wallet out of his backpack pocket and carefully places it inside of his jean pockets. "We ready to go or what?" Annie impatiently retorts and I grin. "That's so usual of you, Annie" I remark and she gives a small smile. Smiles from her are a blessing.

"Oh and by the way, remember Bert'l and Reiner want subs too so remember that. And you guys up for a movie night still?" Armin grins like a Cheshire Cat. "Totally! Besides the other two can come over and so can Ymir and Krista!"   
"Krista works at Trost Sandwiches anyways so we can ask her when she gets off her shift." Annie states. "Good idea, guys. Oh! What movie you its up for?" "Hm... how bout a horror movie?" Annie says. "Like Jeepers Creepers?" Armin's hands go up in the air. "How bout something like Titanic or maybe Emperor's New Groove?" I look at him and beam. Typical Armin. "I'm up for Emperor's New Groove. And next time Annie you can call dibs on the movie." "Thanks," she mutters, her hands resting in her gray warm up sweater. "How bout we get there cuz I'm hungry!" I say and everyone seems to snap back into reality. "Yeah me too!" Armin says and I grab my car keys and wallet.

In a handful of seconds, we're walking down the steps of the Haydn Dormitory Building and into the frothy and sleety slush glued to the concrete sidewalk. We trot towards my car in the parking lot and I pull out my jingling keys and press the 'unlock' button followed by a humming click. I step into my glossy, cinnamon-red 2013 Chevy Impala and sit down onto the seat. Annie sits besides me in the passenger seat an Armin in the back.

Immediately, Teenagers by My Chemical Romance begins to play and I wince, realizing I had forgotten to take it out before I got out of the car last time. You're so dumb Marco.

Annie looks up intrigued by my music choice. "You like My Chemical Romance?" she asks me. "Yeah!! Panic at the Disco, and Fall Out Boy are also pretty good too." "Good artist choices." she responds and I sigh, ready for some good time later today.~

So here we are, making plans to go eat at some sub shop because its cheap and college kids are always cheap and having plans to watch Emperor's New Groove. This is going to be quite an interesting night.

Hey guys!! Sorry it took so long to post. Had some writers block and Halloween too so I was busy. Plan to post in the next week or so, hopefully. And I was busy playing my 3DS for so much time too so... Anyways! Stay tuned for more chapters or new info!!

Stay classy, Andrew


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Subs, Spills, and Sappy Movies (part 2)

After a few minutes of getting everything planned out and take a short 10-minute drive, we found ourselves at Trost Sandwiches. Now don't get me wrong. The campus is just outside the main city but not all of the areas are "entirely" safe. But fortunately, the students of Cambridge University are smart enough to stay away. Even though most of us have bad street smarts, we still have book smarts so we know to be careful in these areas. 

But it was surprising the owners had put a nice shop like this in the outskirts of the city; it deserved to be downtown. It had big recommendations with huge chefs and top-notch rates so I wish it could be closer to the campus.. oh well.

When I walk into the shop ahead of Annie and Armin, the bell on the door clinks lightly and smells incense the air. Not like the coffee shop with pumpkin and cinnamon and all, but wafts of freshly-baked bread and platters of an assortment of vegetables and Italian meats. This place truly had a good vibe. 

"Hi! Welcome to Trost Sandwiches! How can I help you?" a bubbly, girl with flowing blonde hair responds, her goddess-like and honestly quite angelic voice smoothly rings in my ear like a lullaby. She looked like any college girl working for extra money. If I was straight, I would ask her for her number already. Gosh, I'm such a dork. 

"Hey Krista!" we all respond quite enthusiastically except for Annie. "We'll be looking at the menu for a minute. So how's campus life treating you at Cambridge?" I ask her. "Well, the theater class is really nice! Mr. Rivaille is pretty awesome, actually! Sometimes he can get pretty harsh to the others if they're being annoying but mostly he was good. Strict but good." 

I grin. "Well that's good! I guess most people say that he should never have become a theater professor because he's too serious for it. Sometimes, we do joint-classes with the afternoon classes and he's often there. I guess he doesn't seem too bad." 

"Yeah! I see him around near the fine arts wing when I walk to my law class. Normally he just talks to Mr. Smith," Armin points out. 

"Eh, he's alright. He just looks for the normality in people. The people that don't fuck around in class or get in trouble. Those are the type of people that makes his eyes glint," Annie expounds. 

"Gosh, Annie, you're too Tumblr," Krista whines immaturely and I have to laugh. "How is that Tumblr?" is all I can say before the door behind us rings. I turn around and silently gasp. 

"Oh, uh, hey Marco. How ironic seeing ya here." His two-toned blonde and brunette hair crisp with the frosty air. His gray Fall Out Boy hoodie fit a little too snug emphasized his chest. He wasn't muscular to be honest, but it did show sometimes. My heart felt like it had skipped a beat. 

"Oh... hey Jean!" I squeak. Oh my god Marco, you are ruining your life. I blush a little too hard and I guess he notices, he murmurs something to himself. 

"Can I get your order?" Krista asks him and he must have zoned out and stutters. I wondering what he was thinking of.

"Oh uh, that's right! How 'bout a BMT on Italian. And then I'll have a Dr. Pepper and some chips. And that should be it."

"Alright, your total is $8.03. And I'll go fix up your sandwich and your sides. Oh and are you guys ready to order?" 

"I think so." I clear my throat quietly. "Can I have a BLT Italian, a vanilla shake and some chips, please?" I also giver her Bert'l's and Reiner's order requests. "I'll have a Chicken Salad and a Pepsi please?" Armin asks politely and she grins. "No problem! And you Annie?" "I don't mind really. Just a Roast Beef sandwich, a chocolate shake and a Coke." "Got that! And is your orders altogether or individual?" "Indi-" Armin begins to say. "Altogether. My treat. I asked you guys to come so it's on me," I beam. "Ya know, I'll pay for Jean's order too, is that okay?" "Most certainly! And that's really sweet of you too do that," Krista radiantly smiles. "Are you sure, Marco? I mean that's a really kind gesture but I can pay myself," Jean says. "Yeah, me too," Armin follows. 

"Yeah, you honestly don't have to do that. Like really. I have no intention for you-" "No, seriously! It's fine! Just add his order to ours, Krista?" "Got that covered.., now!" she states. "Oh. and your total is $41.57." She turns around and begins to get our orders done. 

"Marco, I'm serious. Like you don't need to." "Jean, I really don't have to. But it's a nice thing to do so I have no problem with that!" I mean, hey, it might help me one-up him and he might think it's cute. But I could never tell him. What would he think? He might never talk to me and even though we haven't known each other for a long time, there's something that I feel like is special between the two of us different than I normally feel around like Annie or Armin or any of my friends. It felt... romantic.

Krista returns with all of our orders and I thank her, paying for the sandwiches. "Oh, hey Krista, you free later tonight?" She looks up at me with interest. "Yeah, you guys got plans or something?" "Well, I was thinking we all have a movie night at my dorm at 8. Oh! Ymir is invited too if she wants to come!" "Yeah sure that sounds like fun! I'll let her know and we both should be there!" "Cool!" Alright, see ya then!" I pivot around and I smash into someone, dropping my shake. 

"Oof!" I hear and the person in front of me with a gray hoodie has the shake stained all over them. "Shit" I hear him say and I gasp, shutting my eyes in surprise. Oh no, it's Jean. I reopen them and I instantly freak out. His sweater was covered in the ice cream and he looked down, dumbfounded. "Oh my God! Jean, I'm so sorry-" Before I can even finish, he begins to bellow in laughter, almost hysterically. I was deadpanned. "Jean! Really though! why are you laughing!" He always just lays his entire back while howling with laughter. "Haha... you got so apologetic! Like I've never seen anyone be that sorry... ever! HAHA!" He begins to cool down and gets up. "Can I at least make up for it somehow?" I blurt out. He looks up at me. "Why? I'm fine, especially with lunch-" "Do you wanna come over to my dorm tonight for a movie night tonight with us?" He stops mid-phrase and looks at me in surprise. Oh no, is that too awkward? God what if he finds it weird? Or creepy? I mean... it's just with friends so I don't know how he could think of it that way- "Yeah, sure. What time and is it the same dorm as earlier?" I wince, that's right. When he heard me playing the piano in my dorm. "Oh, uh... yeah. That's the one..." He smirks. "Just text me a time. I gotta go back in town to get some things at the grocery store. I'm probably going to make something good tonight. Well, I almost always do." I blush at the thought of his slightly-perceived arrogance. I wonder what type of food he normally cooks... French? His name sounds French and his last name is German too, well the phonetic sound of it. Oh my gosh, Marco, pay attention to him while you can, not zone him out and think of his nationality. "Just come over at 7:30, that's probably going to be when we get the movie started or anything else we want to do." I state and he nods. "What movie is it?" I blush in embarrassment at the thought of that. "Emperor's New Groove, courtesy of Armin's wonderful movie taste." I give him a smile towards him and he grins back. "Hey! There's no problem with that, right? Besides! Yzma is hilarious!" Jean laughs and that at least showed some sort of sincere acceptance. "I haven't seen the movie in years. My parents didn't let me watch those movies after I was like 10." I almost gape at the thought of it but then he piped up again. "Well, they were strict other than letting me play soccer and stuff and I guess they didn't want me to become a music geek." He lifts his arms up almost like he's gesturing the area. "Well here we are in the middle of Musicville." That actually almost stung, his statement was bittersweet and that hurt me. Did he just diss music? i mean, I've committed my entire life to it and now he just wants to talk crap about it? He must've picked up on my reaction. "Well, I love music and I always will but they weren't too thrilled with my decision. As a matter of fact, not at all. They wanted me to go into law or-" "Don't talk about music like that, okay? There are people that care about it a lot. People that have completely devoted everything. Their lives, their heart... their soul." My eyebrows furrow into a frown. "Like Mozart, for example. Had his first concert at 8 years old in Linz, Austria. Or Beethoven, Liszt, Schubert. Or Haydn, Bach, Verdi, Mendelssohn, Grieg, Strauss, Brahms... they did everything to make their dreams come true. A conductor. and I don't want people like you trying to ruin my life goal to be like them. Because I have let myself get hurt so much so I could be the person I am right now. So much more than you could ever imagine." I could hear Armin gulp as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. This now hurt too much, and I wasn't ready for a mental breakdown here. I push myself aside and start walking towards the door. "Now you can go do whatever shopping you need to do and enjoy your lunch." I push the glass swinging door open and walk out of the sandwich shop, clutching my leather wallet harder than ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Bruises and Battle Scars

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I fucked up so bad. But at the same time, I didn't say anything bad though, right? Like I only said Musicville...

Oh. Maybe Marco was just really sensitive. I didn't see him ever act up like that but I guess he cares about music so much. Well, obviously he's in the honors program and he's majoring in it but I didn't know he was that ambitious about it. What about his invitation for tonight? That was in a handful of hours and it wasn't like I have his number or anything~ Well to start, it's best to say that I apologize and go to his dorm or something like that. At least he knows I'm sorry. I had dinner to cook and ingredients to shop for... but I didn't, yet alone couldn't. Marco was the one thing on my mind. Damn his freckled cheeks were absolutely perfect and that grin... they made my eyes bleed and his deep, honey eyes. He was the absolute epitome of my wet dreams. Well, he IS the epitome of my wet dreams. Haha, how sad does that sound? An 18 year-old too scared to talk to a sensitive kid cuz he likes them. And he's in his wet dream. I sound like a 13 year-old with raging hormones. I probably still am.

I remember when I had stumbled upon hearing him play that classical piece. Obviously, I wasn't familiar with it but I couldn't recall the name of the dorm number. I knew to start he lived in my dorm complex but the floor... the fifth? I couldn't even imagine the pain to get that cumbersome piano up the stairs, yet alone, his dorm room. Hold on, it was getting an even clearer picture now. He was a floor above me and I was on the fourth, I think he was directly above my dorm itself. I guess that's why the harmonious melody of his piano were bouncing gracefully off every fucking wall in the building.

I need to talk to him. I can't just let him feel this way, I can't let myself stay this way. He didn't do anything at all. I sigh and rake my hand through my hair in annoyance.

I get into my car and turn on the engine and begin to back out of the shop's parking lot when I get a phone call. I stop just before the turning lane (to probably every driver's dismay) and pick up the phone.

"Who is this?" I ask, slightly itritatingly. "Fuck off dude, it's just me Horseface." My face crumbles, that little piece of shit. It was Eren, the biggest ass on the planet. I used to flirt with his adoptive sister Mikasa but she hated me because I was too much of a jerk to Eren, only because he was one to me.

"Why the hell are you calling me, I'm busy here." "Doing what, shoving your 3-inch dick into your mom?" "You son of a bitch, what the hell do you need?" I bitterly ask, done with his BS. "I was gonna ask you a favor from you but I guess I can just ask Armin. Besides he's more helpful than you," he replies sarcastically. "Well screw you then," I mutter before I hang up the phone. I literally hated that kid so much, I didn't even understand why he wanted to call me in the first place.

As I begin to pull into the dormitory building, I hear a faint cry through my cracked windows. What the heck was that? I park my car and turn off the engine when it seems to get louder from where the car was before. Who was it, or what was it? I get out of my car when it really dawns on me what it was, when this time, it's lucid clear that it was a person crying out. I rush over to the side of the dorm building where I see two guys huddled over this over guy. Because it was later in the day, I couldn't see who it was except for the man on the ground. He had brunette hair, pumpkin eyes, freckles... holy shit. It was Marco.

I race over there as fast as I could. "Just who the hell do you two fuckers think you are?!?" The look up at me and begin to book it, leaving poor Marco behind. His head is low and I try to chase the two bastards but instead go to Marco's aid. Just then do I realize how bad of condition he was in.

His arms were bruised and his left eye was surrounded with a sickly purple ring. His neck had a cut and his cheeks were bright red from probably a harsh slap. His nose was even bloody. "Marco!" I scream and run to his side before he flinches and can begin to move. "D-don't hurt me! Please!" Then I realize he thinks I must be the guys beating him up earlier. "N-no, Marco. It's me! Jean!" Then he looks up at me with wide and teary eyes and I have to embrace him in a tight hug.

"Marco... I'm so sorry. I didn't know this was happening to you. Do you know who those bastards were?" He shakes his head and I can hear him trying to cry into my shoulder without making any noise. And that just completely breaks me.

"C'mon, let's go to the bathroom to fix you up and then we can go to my dorm." I can feel him nod a bit, and I grab him with one arm underneath his slightly pudgy shoulders and under his knees with my other arm. Basically, I just picked him up.

After a couple flights of stairs (Yes I can manage), I get him to the bathroom where I put him down on one of the counters. I wet down a paper towel with water to get rid of the blood from his nose.

"Does that feel better?" He nods silently again and I hear him sniffle. It actually was kind of cute, even though this situation wasn't even near it. "Where are your other injuries?" He points to his arms and neck where I see the cut and the bruises from the fight. I press the cut on his neck and he winces but then begins to relax. Hopefully the cool water alleviates the pain but I kind of doubt it.

Once I finish, I notice him in a way I haven't seen him before. Normally, he's very independent and shy, which he always is. But now, he just looks vulnerable and needy, like he's trapped into a corner and knows he can't get out. Just like the fight.

"Hey... do you think you can walk to my dorm? It's not very far from here." I suggest to him where he responds back with a slight nod.

I get him out of the bathroom and slowly guide him to my room and unlock the door with my key, opening it and we walk in. He immediately sits down on one of the beds, actually it was Connie's.

I find my bottle of Ibuprofen (Advil) and hand him a pill. I promise you guys that it actually is Advil. "You're going to want some, you'll get a killer headache later."

"Th-thank you." It was the first time he spoke since where I found him just outside the building. I smile at his response, his tone was really sweet. He rises from the bed and rubs the temple of his forehead with a few of his fingers. "I really do mean it, Jean. No one has ever done that for me." My heart breaks yet again at his retort. No one has ever helped him? Gotten him back on his feet after getting beat up? That's just sick. It makes me feel sick too.

His eyebrows furrow. "What's wrong?" I ask him. "Does it hurt?" He shakes his head. "It's not that, but what about my friends? I don't want to cancel the movie night." He sighs with a defeated tone. "This is my fault, if I didn't let myself get hurt this would've never happened." I immediately disagree with him. "It's not. Those two jerks back there did that to you, it clearly wasn't your fault." He sighs again. "Look. I'm really sorry about what I said at the shop, I really didn't-"

"Stop." He looks up at me with worried mocha eyes. "What-" "Stop blaming yourself for everything. You don't deserve it, it wasn't your fault on any of these things. Why do you do this to yourself? All it's doing is hurting yourself."

He rakes his hands through his muffled brunette hair. "You're right." "Good." I say, clearing some of my pants and shirts off the floor and stuffing them under my bed.

"And don't worry, I'm sure they'd understand." He nods before looking back up at me. "I think I'm still going to have it. I'll be fine by then." It begins to worry me that he still wants to have it. "You sure? Aren't you going to be tired and nauseous from just now?" "Nah, I think I'll be fine. Maybe just a bit woozy but that's it," he replies back.

I look around my room and see what else to clean before he notices. Normally it's a disaster: my shirts and underwear are all in a pile, my backpack and notebooks are splayed all over the floor, my books are tossed onto my desk, it's terrible. But it looked presentable I guess today albeit clothes so I just spruced it up a bit at that moment.

"I don't mean to pry, but how come they did that to you? It looked like you weren't even trying to pick a fight with them by any means." I internally slap myself by his facial expressions after I bring up the heavy topic. Was it a bad experience before? We're they just older students? I didn't think it was-

"I'm gay."

My thoughts freeze, as if frozen in a subarctic blizzard.

"I'm gay."

Still, I found it hard to take in. He was... gay?"

"They attacked me because I'm gay. I've been gay and I always will be."

My hands are getting clammy and my heart begins to race, pushing against my chest like it's trying to break free.

"I came out to my parents when I was 13. I was bullied I'm high school and in college all the time for it. Nothing's changed. My parents and older brother were supportive about it but everyone else wasn't."

My breath started to shorten in irregular moments.

"That's why I said you were the only person to help me. Because no one else did. You really helped, Jean, and I couldn't be any more grateful than ever.

Marco... Marco Bodt, was gay. Meaning he was sexually attracted to men. Meaning he wanted to fall in love with men and marry a guy. Meaning he wanted to settle down and start a family with a man? I couldn't believe it. I truly had a chance with maybe starting something with him.

Just then, I hear the door open and a small figure walks in. "Hey Jean- wait, who are you?!? And why are you on my bed?" Immediately, Marco jumps off the bed and starts to apologize.

"Sorry, I'm Marco. I was just going to leave anyways." He looks at me with his normal deep honey eyes and my heart begins to melt. "Thank you Jean. Oh, and by the way, make sure you stop by tonight for Emperor's New Groove?"

Before I can respond he walks out of the room. "It was nice meeting you, by the way," the freckled guy says to obviously Connie and I'm left standing there like a complete idiot.

"Whoa there, Jean. Who was that?" He begins to diabolically grin. "Man, you're into him. It's that guy you always talk about. Can't wait to tell this to Sasha. She won't believe you just laid him." My eyes widen in annoyance.

"You bald headed ass!"-

Well, it's safe to say this was the absolute worst Writer's Block I've had in my life. Sorry about anything with trigger in this chapter!! Beware if you are sensitive to this sort of topic! But I hope you enjoyed it and stay classy! -Andrew


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Yzma's in Town, Bitch!

I remember walking out of Jean's dorm and despite my terrible headache and my sore eye, I was a bit jittery and nervous. Was it because I was in... Jean's room?

It was pretty messy all around, clothes and books scattered all over the floor, maybe even a couple pizza boxes from the night before, but it was okay, it kind of fitted Jean anyways. I guess I didn't mind.

The one thing that was on mind though was him helping me. Those two jerks back there... I was so scared there were going to do something worse. It terrifies me, I truly was. And Jean being there to save me, I could thank him more than ever.

I just knew that deep inside his two-tone rebellious hair style, his somewhat small body (he proved me that wrong though), and his bitter personality, there had to be something genuine and loving about the guy, and it just made my heart flutter so darn much.

Once I reach my dorm however, I begin to panic. Oh no, what will Mr. Smith say when he sees me like this? I don't want to look bad for world's and I don't want to make it give off a bad vibe for the orchestra...

I decide to take a quick shower before the movie tonight and I grab a towel and head to the bathroom for a shower.

Now, don't assume I'm some super rich kid that gets to have a bathroom and stuff in their dorm because their parents spoil them rotten. I was just lucky that my dorm did come with one, and thank goodness Armin was neat and tidy like me. As a matter of fact, I'm from a casual middle class family. Honestly, I don't think we could've been more casual than ever. A normal 2-story house in an average neighborhood with a typical high school. But I guess playing orchestra at high school rubbed off to people as a snobby rich kid but I wasn't at all.

I step into the bathroom and take off my clothes, looking at myself in the mirror before I was able to step in. Then I realized how badly I looked.

My black eye was still sore with an emaciated purple shade, my arms were bruised and scraped and my neck had a cut on it. I didn't look good but with friends coming over I had to talk to them about it. I was fine now, really, but because this happened a lot I had to reassure it to them that I really was okay. I step in the shower into the hot water and my back tilts backwards due to its tickliness (probably not even a word). My neck stings from the big cut though. I'm sure Mr. Smith was bound to point it out to me tomorrow. Not wanting to criticize other parts of my body, I decide to put on some shampoo and body soap and after rinsing it off, I get out.

As I step out, I realize the inevitable; I forgot to grab a pair of clothes. Oh, man. What an idiot. I wrap the towel around my waist and open the door, trying to get to my dresser as quick as possible. I manage to grab a pair of underwear and my shirt and shorts before I can race over to the shower room and change when I hear a knock at the door and see it open. Crap!

I sprint to the bathroom and close the door and change as fast as I can, hollering, "I'll be out in just a minute!"before opening the door and walking out to my bathroom. "Oh, hey Jean."

He was standing in the corner of the room, his leg kicked back against the wall. "Hey. How're you feeling? Any better?" I was too busy staring into him when I realized he asked a question. Gosh darn, was he so freaking cute.

"Y-yes?" I stutter out in a giant mess and Jean grins. "That's good. But you still seem out of it a bit, did I scare you when I came in here?" I snap out of my reverie and I laugh. "Well, not really, just startled me. I just got out of the shower." He nods and walks towards my bed and sits on it. "Sorry I came over early. I didn't know if you just started the movie as soon as everybody got here or what. I brought microwaveable popcorn by the way." I smile and take it out of hands, resting it on the table. "Thanks, you didn't have to." He looks away and strokes his chin. "Yeah. But I'm your guest, I wouldn't want you having to get all of the food. Besides, I still owed you from lunch. It was really sweet."

Oh. "Well, you saving me back there was more then plenty. How about were equal now?" I inquire and he nods. "Deal."

"Oh, Marco?" I look up at him in concern for his worried tone. "Hm?" "Those two guys... did you see who it was?" I try to think back from a couple of hours ago but my mind is still blank. "N-no. I don't, I'm really sorry..." I look down in sadness. "I was thinking that we should report those assholes. They don't deserve to get away with it at all-" "I-I'm fine, let's not." I suggest. "I don't want any more people coming after me, besides, we didn't know who it was so its not worth it."

"Are you sure?" Jean asks. "What they did, was legitimate harassment. They can't get away with it." I look out at the window to see two birds sitting on an icy twig chirping out to each other. "Yeah, I've made up my mind. I don't want them to get in trouble." I hear Jean scowl but after he says, "Alright."

Just then, the door opens and two large figures walk in. "Oi, where's my subs?" "Reiner, oh hey Jean!" I look over to see the two lovebirds walk in together with Annie behind them. "Hey Marco," she says with a monotone voice. "Who's that?" I see Jean blush in embarrassment and it's really adorable. "Oh, I'm Jean. Nice to... uh meet you," he holds out a hand but she walks away, rejecting it. Usual Annie. I smile.

"Sorry, she's not a very sentimental person," I retort. "She never does that to anyone."

Armin then walks in. "Hey Marco! Wait-holy crap! Are you okay?!? What happened?!?" Reiner then looks at me and notices as well. "Who the fuck did that to you?!" he bellows. Annie even begins to get into it. "I'll whoop their asses before they can even cry out for their moms."

"It's fine, you guys-"

"No douchebag is gonna hurt you ever again!" Reiner exclaimed. "I swear to God, if they touch you-" "Honey! Stop!" Bert'l tries to reassure by snuggling into him.

"Anyways, how bout we start the movie?" I ask and pop the disc in the DVD player.

"Oh, I brought drinks by the way," Armin points out, resting several liters of soda on the wood table. "Aw, man! Beer sounds great right now... and a couple of shots of vodka... and a bottle of whiskey..." "Hehhhh, not right now, Reiner," Bert'l then gets closer to him.

"Eh, I need caffeine anyways," Jean says. He plops down on my bed and I do the same next to him without being creepy. Then he gets up and puts the popcorn in the microwave and in a minute, it's finished and he puts it in a big plastic bowl.

As the movie went on and the Sun began to set, I found myself inching closer and closer to Jean. Annie was on a cushion on the floor, Armin was on his bed and Bert'l and Reiner were on the sofa making out and spooning.

I remember that funny alpaca, llama thing named Cusco and Yzma as a cat and Kronk fighting for a vile at the end of the movie until my eyes began to get weary. At this point, I know my head is resting on his soft chest and I almost feel like his is too to me. But at this rate, I'm so tired that I begin to see my vision gets fuzzy from a long day and I fall asleep on Jean and I enter a sleepy dark void of nothingness.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- A New Page

The video above is a great SNK Nightcore (So Ist Es Immer) song to listen to while reading. Enjoy!!^^

When I woke up, I realized all of my friends were gone. Well, no kidding, it was 6:32. Class was at 9am like always now and I at least had time to get ready before heading over to my morning job at the coffeeshop. Because it was very popular, lots of people were on deck as staff so fortunately my shifts aligned well with orchestra class, since that was in the mornings. But I also had German and Russian in the mid-afternoon today too and then it would be replaced by European History every other day. Yeah, my schedule was tight.

I often felt bad because I didn't get to do as much stuff as I wanted to do with Armin or Jean and just hang out. That's what I did with weekends, and then I'd see my family in the holidays, for Thanksgiving and Christmas and the summertime.

I got up and headed to the bathroom where I opted to take a shower before work. I grabbed a gray undershirt, a black jeans and underwear before retreating to the warm, steamy shower. As I scrubbed my hair with foamy shampoo, I began to think of Jean. His silky blondish brown hair, his strikingly handsome hazel eyes, his black ear piercings. I wish I got to meet him so much earlier than now, he would've made a great friend. Maybe even a best friend, especially since I didn't have any.

Growing up, my family was the kind-spirited, warm-hearted, caring people everyone wished to have as a neighbor or friend. But we weren't very sociable, albeit my mom who was a social butterfly. But she was delicate and loving and supportive, while on the other hand, my dad was tall and a bit beefy and quiet. He worked at a normal office and had longer shifts but when he was home he often spent time with the family. I had an older brother named Thomas but he was much different: he was more popular and had blonde hair; he also had friends and I had to hang out with them because I didn't have any. He played sports and did woodwork shop at school while I did orchestra and math team.

We often went to the beach on Cape Cod as a kid in the summertime since we had a little cottage there and it helped me escape reality and have a getaway to my own imagination and happiness. We fished a lot or played in the sand. I often drew and played in the garden while my brother swam in a little bay just off the ocean next to our cottage. I had to watch him though in case he got hurt or something happened, and vice versa. But we had a lot of fun and it was one of the only ways to liberate my harsh high school life.

I remember coming out to my parents when I was 13. I knew I was very young to learning about my sexuality but I knew that wasn't going to change. At first they assumed that because I was "early into puberty and so far ahead of everybody else" (it was so darn embarrassing) that it was just a temporary thing. But my parents quickly found out it wasn't, but they also had a feeling I was as a really young kid.

I wasn't skinny so people also ridiculed me for being on the chubbier side. I wasn't incredibly heavy or overweight but I never lost my baby fat so I was pudgy, courtesy of my dad's genes. But no one was supportive and helped me so bullying was really a daily routine for me. One way or another, I was teased and picked on by kids in the bathroom, locker room, or other times the hall.

Long story short, it led me to be very self-conscious and it shrank my self-esteem a lot. -

I stepped out of the shower clearing my thoughts of my childhood's highest highs and lowest lows and focused on my day ahead of me.

I put on my clothes after drying myself off and brushed my teeth before heading to my car in the parking lot for work. -

After a couple of hours, I left the shop with a waving Sasha and a croissant in her mouth before driving back to campus for orchestra. I was able to talk to Sasha about what happened the other day so she let me run the coffees and pastries while she had the register. I didn't want anyone to see my black eye, and she was thankfully respectful and supportive about it.

As I stepped in class pretty early, I knew the inevitable fate, Mr. Smith immediately pulled me aside with as much finesse and as little attention as possible. I prepared myself and gulped.

"Y-yes, Mr. Smith?" I asked him. "What happened to your eye, Marco? Is everything alright?" I nodded. "What happened, if I'm able to ask." He brought up with no accusing tone. I decided that it was best for him to know so I told him the story about it. He stroked his chin and looked at me.

"Did you report it at all?" I shook my head and he seemed bothered. "Now, I've known for a while, Marco. You don't start fights ever, so this had to be something done by another person. They could get in serious trouble for it and if you don't say anything about it, they'll come right back to do it again." I sigh, remembering I had the same discussion with Jean. Simply, I told him it wasn't worth it since I didn't know who they were anyways and became silent for a minute.

"Oh, by the way, Mr. Bodt. Did you get your passport and visa registered for Austria? We leave in 3 weeks." I completely forgot about Vienna for a while. I was so stressed about other things but at least I got the papers taken care of much earlier.

"Yeah, I did" He nodded in approval and handed me a large packet. "This is stuff you need to bring and pack for the trip. There's also a schedule for rehearsals and the competition, a map of Vienna, and an itinerary for everything else. And also directions to the hotel and to the concert hall. We will be discussing this for the rest of the day today unless we finish early." "Thank you, Mr. Smith. I appreciate it." He smiles. "No problem. And by the way, if you need...to talk about...er, the bullying, don't hesitate to stop by here. I'm free anytime from now until 1pm or call my work phone if necessary." "Thank you," I say again. "It means a lot." He nods and I turn around headed to my seat in the room.

By now, other students are entering the room so class must be starting soon.

The bell rings and Mr. Smith clears his throat.

"Ahem! Good morning class! I hope you had a good weekend!"

So, now I've finally made some good progress in this Fanfiction and I'm getting really excited! I will be leaving to Alaska in about two weeks so I may not be online for a while. However, that doesn't mean to refrain from you liking, commenting, or reading this by any means. But I also hope you enjoy it! By the way, if you DO like it, make sure you follow me for updates and new fanfics! Stay classy! -Andrew


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Assuring and Doubting

When your parents' first rule was "Don't turn gay" after graduating high school, you really get pissed off. Well, for me at least. Unlike Marco, I hadn't been able to say anything about being gay. In more honesty, people probably thought I was more homophobic than homosexual. Especially high school year.

My parents sent me to a super rich ass private high school and I often bullied on kids that were gay. Some of them weren't but a good portion of them were. I didn't realize how bad I was until I saw Marco's pain a while ago. The way he bent over and cried in pain covering his face with his trembling hands and not being able to defense themselves. I think most of the people I bullied felt that way one way or another. It made me sick and horrified.

When I got up, I saw Connie had left a box of doughnuts on the counter for later but I figure they'd go stale so I plucked a few from it. They actually were pretty good, must be fresh.

I had plans to see Marco again. We'd only been good friends for a couple of weeks but in those weeks I learned so much about myself and other people that I began to question my identity for the last 20 goddamn years. I wasn't jus in love with Marco, I was enamored, infatuated. I actually learned a lot about him.

He sneezed with a cute voice which was obviously unintentional, he had even considered joining the military, he played the piano since he was 5 and the violin since 7, he is one of the only people that actually eat barbecue flavored chips, he's never drank before, his mom was from Italy while his dad was from Germany, he went to bed every night at 9:30 or 10:30 tops, his brother goes to NYU, his birthday is June 16. He is totally apparently a total tightey whities/briefs guy over boxers. Boy, that was an awkward situation... And he wanted to be an interior home designer at first but kept music, and he even sleep talks sometimes. It's really freaking cute.

Yeah, I learned a WHOLE lot about him.

The more the day went on, I kept thinking about him more and more. I also heard about his trip to Austria for world's and I was kind of jealous. But I had this creeping thought in the back of my head and I knew that Marco was going to hate me so much for doing this to him, but...

I was going to buy tickets to go to Austria to support Marco. I was absolutely fucking going to go with him. Especially when I found out it was during Christmas break.

You see, me and my parents argued a lot. They weren't happy that I went to art school nonetheless not going to law school or anything of high social status. They expected Ivy League or a Catholic school but come on, that's so freaking dumb. They weren't happy I wasn't in honors, that I pierced my ears, that I had been suspended for beating up some kid, yeah, the list goes on...and on...and on. I just sucked as a son at the absolute tipping point.

They also make me visit and stay during Winter break but all we do is argue and lecture so going to Austria with Marco was the absolute best deal ever. Besides, I think he'll appreciate my company, right? ... Right?

I was going to break the news to him and it also was the last week before the trip. I was hoping he'd be fine.-

When he came back from school (I sound like my mom ugh), I invited him over to hang out. We were normally just going to watch a movie or play video games (another thing I learned, he never played them and he's terrible but it's cute!) and then tell him. At this rate, I felt like we knew we liked each other but couldn't possibly break it just yet. He screamed homo, I screamed homo, we all screamed homo.

Although I assured myself this was a great idea, I began to doubt it. Was it overboard? Just creepy? Would it give it away that I liked him so much? What would my parents think of it? All of the what if's kept circling my mind but at this rate, I would screw me and everyone else and just stick with the plans.

As I for once cleaned/tidied up my dorm, I heard a knock at the door. I put two big bowls of barbecue chips (I'm a sneaky bitch XD) and some pretzels (cuz they're great) on the tables next to the video games and TV and walked to the door opening it.

"Hey! C'mon in!" He walks in and I blush at his outfit. Because it was cold out, he had a black quilted jacket (not what you think it is), a gray beanie, a periwinkle cardigan, his usual white Converses and a giant gray scarf wrapped around his neck, just under his hipster glasses. It was so badly sexy. Or just cute. Yeah, cute. He even had a pair of skinny jeans on so his ass looked huge in it but I don't think he realized it. He's pretty naïve but it was adorable. Damn it, Jean.

"What's the occasion?" he asks, referring to the chips and drinks out. "Oh there's nothing." I say scratching my back. He folds his arms. "You sure?" ".....Yeeepppp....." I look away and fix my ruffled hair. "What's up, Jean?" he says. Normally he's not so observant but I was surprised how quickly he picked up.

"So, I know you and the orchestra are going to Austria... and I really wanted to support you and see you play... so I'm going to Austria with you...?" He immediately start to laugh followed by a huge grin.

"Are you sure about that?" he asks. "We leave in a week." "Yeah I know. But I already booked a flight and some hotel rooms. Let's just say they perfectly match your itinerary." He gapes dumbfoundedly. "No way, how did you even-" I twirl a pretzel rod in my hand. "It's a secret, my friend."

He walks over to me a gives me a hug and I can hear him laughing again. "Wow! That's really awesome!" I grin and my heart flutters. Making him happy is like the chocolate ganache on a strawberry buttercream pound cake; it was just perfect. He still holds his hand over his mouth in pure awe. "W-wow... So we get to see all of the churches, and mountains, and meadows, and town squares together... That's great!" I blush at his remark pretty damn heavily.

Fortunately, things clearly hit off well and I was just stoked for our not so private trip to Vienna together.

So I felt like if I never finished this chapter, I would be in another terrible writers block so I forced myself to pull through with this. Stay classy! -Andrew


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10- "Nirgendwo Gehen."

Jean gave me a brief smile while we were on the plane to Austria. Mr. Smith wasn't ecstatic that he would join us but he wasn't against it. I guess he thought he'd be a distraction and stop me from playing with my full potential, but honestly, he'd help me. 

I don't think Jean realizes how much he means to me. Now I don't want to sound like the guy that claims he's a wallflower and that my life is not good enough or terrible, but honestly it hasn't been easy. Now, my family has always been there for me. But it's just when you're now in college, I feel this pressure to really figure out what I want to do, who I want to be with after school, my future goals and dreams, stuff like that. It's been a long time since I've had a chance to really think things through and finally come through with some idea of my plans. On top of that, I don't really have the friends I wish I could have. Except Bert'l, Reiner, Armin, and Annie, well, they're all great, but sometimes, I wish I had more people to talk to that could support me. Mr. Smith is okay but sometimes though he acts too adult-like and it can be quite different than talking to a college student about things. 

Jean I guess kind of keeps me up on my feet and just makes it easier, especially the ride. Because we sat on the outside of the orchestra group, many of us were listening to our performing music or goofing around so there was some disorientation. And, a baby was crying behind us so it was difficult to get rest. Since we were flying normal economy class, we didn't have much space to recline and relax without the dissatisfaction of the people around you. So at one point I put in earbuds and played Frederyk Chopin's Etude Op. 10 No. 4 to keep my mind of the stress. At one point, I drifted off into looking out the window beside me and I guess I transitioned into a catatonic, zoned-out state; apparently I worried Jean. He nudged me with his elbow softly, which easily snapped me out of my reverie. I didn't mind too much. But internally, thoughts began to circle my mind. What if I mess up? What if I disappoint the orchestra? 

This felt all too familiar. The feeling that I can never do anything. It was just like a couple weeks ago, the moment those guys attacked me next to my dorm building. I was defenseless, I was weak. I couldn't do anything. I never can. All of those of reassurances by other people that I was okay, that I just have to believe in myself. But what if I tried believing in myself so hard that I don't even know what having confidence feels like anymore. It's not that I'm depressed, but I just never have the self-esteem ever. 

I sigh, leaning back in my seat and stretching my pudgy, slightly beefy legs. Oh yeah, I forgot about self-consciousness with my body; that's actually a thing. The fact that my entirely life I was told the baby fat would go away and it never did actually stung. I was always slightly overweight even though I have no idea why and I'm still like that now. And it didn't help coming out when you're fourteen so you've got that and the weight issues made it easy for me to be bullied, which was terrible. 

I change the song from Chopin to Tchaikovsky's the Nutcracker, Op. 71: No. 7 "The Battle". How funny that my favorite symphony is being played during Christmastime when Austria is like the Christmas capital of Europe and the fact that Tchaikovsky was rumored gay? Yeah, we are going to be performing the Nutcracker during the championships but I don't know if it'll be enough to win. 

Jean nudges me again, but when I turn around,I find him listening to music too on his phone. But the tapping continues and I discover that it wasn't him, because it's coming from behind me. I turn around and look to see another guy with a short buzz cut and a girl with a high ponytail and a hand in a chip bag. They were Connie Springer and Sasha Braus. Connie and Sasha are both trumpeters in the orchestra and I've heard they've known each other for a long time. They almost seem like a couple more than friends... 

"Hey, you!" the girl slightly loudly remarks. "You're the really good violist, Marco right?!" Connie turns to her and tries to shut her up because she's really loud but she lifts her hand to the air to shut him up. I start to blush when I realize I haven't answered her question. "Oh, uh yeah. That's me..." "Sasha, maybe he doesn't wanna talk right now, leave him be! The poor guy is too shy!" Connie utters. Sasha deadpans before looking back at me. We sit there like that for a couple seconds of dead silence before she asks, "Do you have any food?" I can't help but laugh when she says that. I turn around and pull out some food I bought at the vending machine at the airport. I hand her some Skittles and some cookies and she grabs them from me super quickly. It's so fast that I don't have any time to blink. "AHHHHHH, THANK YOU SO MUCH MARCO! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!" she hollers before getting yelled at to shut up. I grin. "No problem!" Connie eventually joins in on the conversation. "So, you seem to have a lot of experience, man. How long you've been playing?" I've been asked this so many times so I don't even have to ponder about it. "Well, I've been playing the violin since I was four and piano since I six." His mouth drops, and I almost feel guilty like I've bragged or something. "Dude, that's awesome! You see, Sasha and I, we've been playing since that typical 6th grade stage when everyone is forced to take up an instrument. We've been playing since." Sasha grins with a mouth full of Skittles and I can see the color of the dye in her teeth. 

"So, what're your plans after you graduate? I mean, you are a senior, right?" I sigh. The truth I've been trying so hard not to think about is right here in front of me. "To be honest, I don't really know. I'm probably going to move to New York and apply for the New York Philharmonic. Maybe fall in love or something..." I see Sasha immediately stop chewing and I fear for the worst. "OOHHH, does Marco like someone?" Connie deadpans. "Sasha, get the hell out of his business. Besides, I don't even think if he likes any other guys. And honestly, Marco, that's cool you're gay." I feel my heart burst with joy that they were okay with it, and it makes me feel like I want to get to know them more. "Thank you. And there's no promises on that." I almost regret saying that when I feel like I hear her spit everywhere. "WHATTTT!!!" Jean turns around and frowns. "Hey! Why'd you do that!?! It's on my neck now, gross!" Sasha and Jean start bickering and Connie sighs again. "Damn, sometimes I have no idea how she can even manage without me." I realize that they may be just friends but I was still curious. "Hey, so I don't want to sound nosy but are you two like... a thing or something?" It gets really quiet again before I hear the laughter come out of Connie and Sasha's mouths from that. "Hell no! We would NEVER date!" "Oh! Connie has the cooties too!" Sasha remarks. "Besides, he's too annoying!" The two continue on fighting and I realize that for the first time in a while that I've finally been able to talk to someone new. And they're pretty nice people. As the conversation moves along, I find myself getting to know them a lot more than I thought I would. Connie and Sasha have been best friends since 4th grade. Connie has an older brother that just got married a year ago and he majors in European History. Sasha also has older siblings, and she's majoring in both German and Psychology. Apparently, he dad even owns a bakery in town so she works there every summer with Connie. 

The one thing that felt funny to me was that I never really talked to Jean so far on the trip. I felt kind of bad so I decided to add him in the conversation. "Hey, Jean. We're playing truth or dare. Wanna play?" He looks up and smiles. "Hell yeah!" Eventually, Sasha is dared to not eat any more snacks the rest of the ride and if she does, Jean will buy her a box of Austrian chocolates when they land. Connie admits that he's a virgin and Sasha jokes about it, so clearly she lost hers. 

"Marco." Sasha says and I look up. "Dare." She looks at Connie beside her and grins. "I dare you to tell me who you like." I can already feel the blood rushing through my cheeks and I know I'm blushing. Should I tell her? Or not? I lean in past my seat as she moves closer and she tilts her ear towards me. I whisper the name. "Jean."


End file.
